Phenomenal Flora
Saturday morning cartoons
were interrupted with an emergency news broadcast.
Newscaster Tom Dickenherry
reported.
"We interrupt the normal
broadcast to bring you the following breaking story. This just in. A young man
is missing following what appears to be an astonishing and incredulous
appearance of unnatural flora in the town of Biggending, Kansas.
"Witnesses described
the scene earlier in the day. The Bakerson farm, owned and operated by Peg
Bakerson and her son, Jack appeared normal. Young Jack had been observed as he
opened the gate of the pasture and was led their only cow through the gate and
down the gravel road. Later in the day, neighboring witnesses reported that
they heard a loud argument between Jack and a woman who they confirmed to be
Jack's mother. Witness also stated that they saw the woman go outside, throw
some small items into the front yard, just over the porch railing. They
observed her as she threw up her arms, shook her head, and then went back
inside, slamming the door. Jack reportedly went outside appearing angry, as evidenced
by his flailing arms, shaking fists and stomping feet. He was seen entering the
barn.
"Just after dusk, witnesses
throughout the town reported signs such as seeing and feeling furniture moving,
cupboard doors opening, dishes rattling, and even window panes cracking, all
thought to be associated with a possible earthquake. Seismic graphs showed very
little movement. Then, as was stated, an explosion was heard throughout the
neighborhood. Witnesses stated that the explosion began as approximately thirty
seconds of rumbling, not unlike thunder in the distance, followed by the loud
reverberating boom.
"Astounding is what
happened following the alleged quake and explosion. Eyewitnesses from a nearby
farm spoke to our reporter Bob Telltale who is at the scene. Bob?"
"Tom, we're here in
Biggending, Kansas at the Bakerson farm. We are speaking with Carl and Doris
Fibbers, neighboring farm owners. Doris, tell us about what you heard and saw
at the Bakerson's."
"Well, we knew
something was wrong all day. Peg Bakerson never gets mad, but she was some
angry at her son, Jack. Maybe it was because he took the cow away. He never
brought Daisy back. That's when Peg was yelling.
After supper, Carl and I
were sitting on the porch; we do that every night until dark. We like to watch
the fireflies. But, oh, what happened just before we went inside. The windows
started rattling and inside I heard a couple of dishes fall and break. It
lasted about a minute, I think. I ran inside to pick up the mess."
Carl joined the conversation,
"You should've seen it. After what we thought was a quake, there was this
sound, loud, like a train running under the ground and then, boom! I yelled to
see if Doris was okay, and when she came out onto the porch, that's when we saw
it together."
"Oh my land! We did!
This thing, a plant or something just shot straight up out of the ground. Up
and up and up! We didn't know what the heck it was! That's when we called for
help. Look! See it over there?"
“I don’t know but it looks
like, well, a beanstalk, but I’ve never seen a beanstalk that gigantic! The
thing is humungous!"
"The last time Jack was
seen was when neighbors reported observing him entering the barn on farm
property. Police are investigating the disappearance of Jack Bakerson. FEMA has
been informed of the alleged earthquake. During the investigation and until
further notice, Bakerson Farm Road is closed to the public. This is Bob
Telltale in Biggending, Kansas. Back to you, Tom."
"Thank you, Bob. We
have been live with Bob Telltale in Biggending, Kansas. He is there and has
been reporting on the disappearance of 18 years old, Jack Bakerson, following
an alleged earthquake, explosion, and the unnatural growth of a gigantic beanstalk
in the yard. We will bring you up to date with this breaking story on
NewsCastNow at noon today.
"Thank you. Now, we take you back to the regularly scheduled
programming."
